When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Henri Nouwen

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Here's the Thing...

I've been under so much stress lately, I've actually gained about 20 pounds in the past month or so due to all the self medicating I've been doing (peanut m&m's). I wanted to just vent it all out and relax. School's going to have to wait until spring because of a clerical error with my application. I specifically started back in April to get every thing in order so nothing would go wrong and still have to wait because of that. That stinks but I'm going to use my extra semester wisely and fix our poor credit (funfunfun).
Then Ryan's school lost his application so I had to go downtown Prosper to enroll him in person. I'm wondering if this is a common occurrence...lost applications or just a fluke that both of ours were lost/mistyped the same week.
On top of everything, my brother's coming to town in a few hours (dundundun). He's, ummmm...how do I put this delicately?....a militant atheist who hates everything I believe in and the way I'm raising my children (awesome). It's not so bad when he comes with my sister or his girlfriend but he's coming by himself this time and I'm bracing myself for an attack and possibly having to throw my only brother out of my house, which pretty much sucks!
Then we have a dead something stinking up the walls and I've spent all morning calling pest control and handy men to find someone who will actually remove it, instead of cleaning my house for my upcoming family visit. I have a party I'm throwing on Saturday (You're all invited, I swear...we just sent out the invites last night, though) and I'd love it if my house didn't stink and I don't have to host a party on my lawn.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

This is a rant.

Hi ladies. I miss all my Texas girls! I have something I need to get off my chest, and I can't do it on my regular blog. And I'm hoping it fits here, even though it will be much like preaching to the choir.

I am experiencing something here in California that I don't remember coming across once the whole time we were in TX. It's the backhanded support/takedown all in one. Case in point:

This Friday, my family is leaving for Disney World. We planned this back in January, and have been saving for it for longer than that. It's our 10th anniversary celebration, and we decided to do something with the kids; eight days at Disney World. Extravagant, I suppose, but 10 years is a big deal!

You know what I heard from sisters in TX when they heard about that? "Wow, that's so neat!" "Oh, you guys are going to LOVE it!" "How fun for you!"

Know what I've gotten from my BFF and others out here? "Oh my gosh I HATE you!" "Oh, Miss THANG is gonna go live at Disney World!" It's always said with a wink and a smile, and obviously they're teasing, but cripes! I think women (and especially LDS women) have it hard enough without adding petty envy thinly disguised as "harmless" sarcasm.

I'm not a frivolous person. In fact, my husband likes to tease me about my pragmatism. We try to do fun things occasionally, but it's always planned out and budgeted. It bothers me a lot when I get teased about being a big spender. That part is my own problem, I know, but I think it would be a great service if more women treated each other like I was treated in TX. It's also a lesson I learned from an older sister of mine while I was growing up:

If your friend/sister/neighbor is excited, be excited for and with her. If she's happy, be happy for her. Be selfless. We all have our turns. Sometimes you're flying high and you can afford to be easily happy for someone else's good fortune. Sometimes life stinks, and you can still be happy for others, and hopefully they'll be there for you in return.

That's my rant, and now I'm done. Thanks, Ami, for giving us a place to "talk" with others Girls. :)

Monday, August 4, 2008

Nerves

My big appointment is tomorrow morning. I'm so nervous. I've never done anything so big like this by myself. Jason's always been right by my side and he can't get away tomorrow so I've had to figure it all out and prep myself for what's coming. Well, this isn't the big, big appointment...it's the big appointment where they make sure I'm ready for the big, big appointment. It's nerve wracking to think that in 3 weeks I'll be officially sterile. That's it. No more child-bearing years...not that they've been that great to me. It's the finality that's getting to me. At 28 I will no longer be able to have another baby. It's a little hard to swallow.