Hi ladies. I miss all my Texas girls! I have something I need to get off my chest, and I can't do it on my regular blog. And I'm hoping it fits here, even though it will be much like preaching to the choir.
I am experiencing something here in California that I don't remember coming across once the whole time we were in TX. It's the backhanded support/takedown all in one. Case in point:
This Friday, my family is leaving for Disney World. We planned this back in January, and have been saving for it for longer than that. It's our 10th anniversary celebration, and we decided to do something with the kids; eight days at Disney World. Extravagant, I suppose, but 10 years is a big deal!
You know what I heard from sisters in TX when they heard about that? "Wow, that's so neat!" "Oh, you guys are going to LOVE it!" "How fun for you!"
Know what I've gotten from my BFF and others out here? "Oh my gosh I HATE you!" "Oh, Miss THANG is gonna go live at Disney World!" It's always said with a wink and a smile, and obviously they're teasing, but cripes! I think women (and especially LDS women) have it hard enough without adding petty envy thinly disguised as "harmless" sarcasm.
I'm not a frivolous person. In fact, my husband likes to tease me about my pragmatism. We try to do fun things occasionally, but it's always planned out and budgeted. It bothers me a lot when I get teased about being a big spender. That part is my own problem, I know, but I think it would be a great service if more women treated each other like I was treated in TX. It's also a lesson I learned from an older sister of mine while I was growing up:
If your friend/sister/neighbor is excited, be excited for and with her. If she's happy, be happy for her. Be selfless. We all have our turns. Sometimes you're flying high and you can afford to be easily happy for someone else's good fortune. Sometimes life stinks, and you can still be happy for others, and hopefully they'll be there for you in return.
That's my rant, and now I'm done. Thanks, Ami, for giving us a place to "talk" with others Girls. :)
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6 comments:
My grandmother used to always tell me: "PRIDE, PRIDE, PRIDE. It can make the most beautiful woman VERY ugly." If there is ANYWHERE we should TRY with all our might to be loving, supportive, accepting, and tolerant of others it is the place where the fullness of the Gospel is taught. We are taught over and over again that we should treat others with kindness. What AMAZES me is women who can deliver a VT message about being Christlike to others and then turn around and speak out of the other side of their mouth about how they don't want to be friends with so and so or they don't like so and so because she is full of herself. It IS a problem. It is a crying shame it is a problem because we ALL know better and should do better. Sometimes I wonder what the Lord could be teaching us in place of all the lessons on being kinder to each other and supportive of each other. If we, as women of the church could get that down better we might be able to move on to bigger and more important doctrine. Sorry to sound like I am on a rameumptom (sp?) but I have had a few friends who were disenfranchised by "Cliques" at church over the years and it made them REALLY reluctant to go to church. I HATE backbiting. I don't know that this situation is all that because they may just be teasing you without trying to be hurtful. I say give them the benefit of the doubt, pretend like you don't notice, and go have a good time. You are NOT a bragger, Amy. Of that I am sure. So, you did not bring this on yourself. Go have fun! Fugetaboutem! Give em a rasberry from me. :O)
i'm so excited you guys are going to disney world...10 years is a big deal!! i've never understood the whole one up and take down attitude of some sisters. we SHOULD stand shoulder to shoulder facing the world instead of turning on each other. I'm glad you feel free to rant here and miss ya'll in Texas (giving you a taste of Texas). :)
10 years really is a big deal (especially these days) and i think it SHOULD BE celebrated! i think it's great that you want to include your kids and i hope you have a great time! those women were probably just jealous- i know i am! :D
Amen Sista! Good for you and the fam going to Disney! Have fun and enjoy yourselves - you've worked hard for it! Can I just say that my personal favorite is the "one up you." You know, the one where you talk about something you've done, or gotten, and then someone chimes in and "one ups" you. Cracks me up every time! We miss you and your fam.
It is good that you are making a big deal about 10 years. I am from Cali and most of the marriages there don't make it that long! :)
Thanks for this post. I know it's been a while since you posted it, but I needed it. Not that I'm going around putting others down, I just really needed that piece of advice. I love it! When someone's happy or excited be happy and excited with them. Selfless. I love it! It's my new mantra.
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