When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving much advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a gentle and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.

Henri Nouwen

Monday, August 4, 2008

Nerves

My big appointment is tomorrow morning. I'm so nervous. I've never done anything so big like this by myself. Jason's always been right by my side and he can't get away tomorrow so I've had to figure it all out and prep myself for what's coming. Well, this isn't the big, big appointment...it's the big appointment where they make sure I'm ready for the big, big appointment. It's nerve wracking to think that in 3 weeks I'll be officially sterile. That's it. No more child-bearing years...not that they've been that great to me. It's the finality that's getting to me. At 28 I will no longer be able to have another baby. It's a little hard to swallow.

4 comments:

Amber Hooten said...

You should ask your husband for a blessing of comfort. I know that it will bring you comfort as you go through this. Just a thought.

shahna said...

Great idea, Amber. I second that. I know this is a tough pill for any woman to swallow. I would add to that to make going to the temple a priority over the next few months. Pray for help understanding His will for you. Maybe when you understand the why behind it you can feel at peace with it.

The A Team said...

thank you so much for your suggestions. i will go to the temple and pray about it. we've postponed the appointment for a few weeks so jason can look into getting a vasectomy. i've said that i didn't want him to do it but he says i've been through enough and he wants to do this for me and i'm not going to stop him.

honeyfam said...

i'm glad that you probably won't have to go through another surgery. i agree with jason that you've been through enough (WAY MORE THAN ENOUGH!). it's his turn to "take one for the team". haha.